Poop Schmear

Mommy and Daddy awoke to the horrifying scene of me having once again smeared my poop all over my crib, the walls, my face, body and hair. They were not pleased. Daddy yelled REALLY loud at me. I cried. I got put in a dark corner of the bathtub and hosed down like a Chinese defector. I got a time-out for 30 minutes. Daddy made me look straight ahead at the refrigerator for the whole 30 minutes. I was not allowed television. I like poop.

After a tense post-Apoopalyptic start to our day, we headed over to the nearby home of Joe, J.P. and Owen Moriarty and mommy/wife Lynn Burgess for a reunion of the current and former Cosmopolitan Kiddos. Joining us for the backyard brunch were: the ubiquitous Don, Amy and Henry Light, and Sam McKnight with daughters Bailey and Sydney. But the star of the show was our former caregiver and ray of light, Cindi Togar. It was so great to run wild in their beautiful backyard and catch up with all my pals.

After a nap of credible length Daddy and I headed off to Erika Newman's to celebrate her 2nd birthday. Also there were Campbell Smith and newly appointed Director Doug E. Fresh. We enjoyed playing with the toys, sang happy birthday, had some Winnie the Pooh birthday cake and watched her open her presents. It was a fun party and Daddy was psyched that the Seahawks game was on in the background.


Daddy rushed me home from Erika's to help Mommy put the finishing touches on getting the house and dinner ready for our guests Liz Tan and her beau Greg E. Pie. Mommy had been slaving in the kitchen for almost two days preparing chicken enchiladas, ceviche, an arugula and jicama salad, and a flourless cake with ancho chillies and chocolate. Greg and Liz brought tequila but sadly I crashed out before the real fun began.

In order to eschew the poop, Daddy literally stuffed me into a zippered pajama that is about 2 months too small for me. Mommy is trying to convince him that I'll do fine in my separates. Daddy then reminds her that separates are what have allowed me to get "into this mess" and insists to her that further use of separates will require handcuffs. I'm a gonna try and keep it poop free tonight.